


Mac goes to pride

by lovervision



Category: It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia
Genre: M/M, MAC IS GAY AND ITS OKAY!!!!, and dee: Lesbian Icon, but like . its soft at the end, dennis is a dumbass but wbk, idk man idk, its set currently but dee and dennis are in college so ya, mac goes to pride and s t r u g g l e s but he meets dennis and is like FUCK, okay pls just read idk what im saying, she wears a giant feather boa, this is.... idk, tw for panic attacks and overall gay angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-09
Updated: 2019-06-09
Packaged: 2020-04-23 17:21:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19155574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovervision/pseuds/lovervision
Summary: I just had this idea about baby gay mac going to pride for the first time and meeting a very confident and proud dennis and then this happened. it kinda ran away from me and turned into something i wasnt expecting it to but i like it so.





	Mac goes to pride

**Author's Note:**

> im not american. ive never been to america. ive never been to philadelphia. and ive never been to pride in philadelphia. BUT I DID MY BEST writing colour without a u killed me
> 
> also ya dude is wack and wrote/edited/posted this all on my phone and wrote it in one sitting at 12 am so if its Rough thats why
> 
> also also this is ..... the first thing ive ever written and posted for Any fandom so b kind ily xxxx

It doesn’t feel right being here. He doesn’t know why he’s even here really. Even though he knows logically, that this is really the only place he _can_ belong.

His heart is pounding. He could hear it over the rumble of the bus and he can still hear it clearly over the crowds cheering, yelling, singing. He feels it clawing up his throat and he swallows thickly - trying to push the feeling down. His skin is on fire and tiny pin pricks are clawing on the back of his neck, _begging_ him to turn around and go back to his house in the comfort of South Philly.

This was a horrible idea, he never should have left his house this morning. He should’ve just stayed home and waited until Charlie inevitably came knocking on his door around midday. Like he does every weekend. It’s routine and it’s simple and it’s not - it’s not _this_ _._

He feels his chest start to tighten.

He’s known he’s been a bit… _not_ straight for a while now. He knows what the familiar feeling in the pit of his stomach is when he eyes a particularly attractive dude. He doesn’t _want_ to be gay. Who _wants_ to be different? He knows he is though, he must be. But he hasn’t accepted himself yet, he doesn’t really know how.

Today is just supposed to be a trial run. He’s just going today to check it out, test the waters or whatever and just _see._ Maybe, he told himself, if he’s comfortable there he can learn to accept himself.

But now that he’s here, been here for a while. And he knows he’s made a big fucking mistake. It’s all too real. People here are so comfortable it’s unnerving and a bit sad, really.

Mac will never be that sure in his skin.

He’ll try and grow but it will just crack and crumble around him. Strangling him slowly. It will never let him grow or change shape.

He blinks back the tears prickling his eyes and continues to just walk around a bit and take everything in. He missed the parade but the festival is just as nerve wracking.

There’s rainbow everywhere. That’s the only thing he notices at first. Flags are hanging from nearly every street sign or store front window. Flags in what seems like a million different combinations of colors. They’re draped over people's shoulders like capes, brandished on t-shirts, tied around foreheads and biceps in the shape of bandanas, or on bracelets. Just. Everywhere.

Everyone’s laughing and talking and touching casually and lovingly. Everyone seems so friendly and everyone’s so colorful but Mac - Mac is wearing all black and stands out because he doesn’t even belong here in the _first goddamn place._ And everyone's having a good time and hugging and laughing and talking and Mac can’t even fucking _breathe._

He scans the crowd and his eyes land on a quiet corner where there's only two people standing nearby. It will have to do.

He rushes over, his heartbeat clouding his hearing and his vision is blurring and his chest is still too tight. But he makes it and he pretty much just falls onto the gutter. He brings his knees up to his chest and buries his face into the fabric of his jeans. His fingers wind through his hair and pull roughly as he fucking wills himself to just  _breathe._ This happens sometimes, but never this badly, and it hasn’t happened in _ages._

He distantly hears someone’s voice tinged with concern. He can’t really hear what it’s saying - he’s just trying to fucking calm down. But then he hears the same voice call someone a bitch and he feels a wary hand on his shoulder.

“Dude, holy shit, just - just yeah. Keep breathing,” His brain registers.

The hand is nice and accompanied with the voice it’s kinda grounding. It gives Mac something else to focus on.

“That’s it buddy. You’re doing great! I sent my sister to go get you some water, okay?”

The person keeps talking at Mac, and Mac clears through the fog enough to register the voice is a dude. He softly speaks encouragement into the space between them for awhile until Mac calms himself down. He sniffs and finally lifts his head from his knees, he rubs the back of his hand across his nose. The hand on his shoulder squeezes one more time before dropping. The mystery person is sat next to him. His mind is still a little fuzzy but Mac can feel the presence next to him.

He takes in a stuttering breath.

“Thanks bro. I don’t - I don’t know what that was, it just happens sometimes,” he says lamely, a bit embarrassed. He stares straight ahead and blinks back the lingering tears in his lashes.

“That’s okay, I think it was a panic attack dude. You’ll be okay, just take it easy.”

Mac finally turns to look at him and the stranger is already smiling at him comfortingly. He’s got a pink, purple and blue bandana tied around his forehead pushing light brown curls out of his face. The same colors painted on his cheeks in the shape of tiny flags. Mac doesn’t even know what those colors mean. His shirt looks like he made it himself, a plain white t-shirt with the words “IF UR READING THIS: IM NOT STRAIGHT” written in messy sharpie or some other kind of marker. Mac can see where the marker must have snagged on the fabric in a few places. It makes him snort out a short laugh.

“I like your shirt,” he says, voice a bit rough.

“Thanks!” The other guy replies, smiling wide and proud.

It’s at that moment when a bottle of water is thrown right at the guy’s chest. He hisses in pain, rubbing at his chest and picking up the bottle that rolled onto the floor. He passes the bottle to Mac after opening it for him. It was a nice gesture but Mac still wanted to roll his eyes a bit.

“Dee, you goddamn fucking _bitch!”_ He spat to a girl who was walking over to them, Mac didn’t even notice her coming. She sat down in front of them on the road. Mac notices similar face paint on her cheeks to the guy but in different colors. Hers go from red to a purply color with orange, white and pink inbetween.

Mac takes short little sips of water and listens to the two strangers bicker. His ears are still ringing and his head still feels a bit foggy - like if he stands the whole world will spin.

He really shouldn’t have come here. He should have just hung out with Charlie and got stoned and hit a few bars later tonight. Anything would have been better than here. Than _this._ Everyone, even these two strangers, are having a better time than Mac. He needs to leave. He really needs to--

“Hey! Hey, dude don’t zone out on me,” The guy is clicking his fingers in front of Mac’s face obnoxiously.

“What?”

“I said what’s your name?”

“Oh, uh, Mac,” his voice wavers and he sounds confused.

“You sure about that?” The stranger asks teasingly, an easy grin slapped on his face. He looks good Mac thinks. Not like _that,_ except, okay, so maybe he is attractive. But Mac means good like _happy_. He looks content here with a slight sunburn beginning on his nose and sweat in his hair.

“I’m Dennis,” he adds, “and that’s my bitch of a sister, Dee.”

Dee kicks at her brothers ankles but smiles at Mac.

“Anyway,” he starts up again, and Mac begins to think Dennis just likes the sound of his own voice. He hasn’t shut up since his hand landed on Mac’s shoulder and he brought him back to earth.

“I’m thinking, since I helped the fuck out of you, you totally need to get a beer with us.”

Maybe Mac shouldn’t leave so soon.

 

 

Mac finds out alot about Dennis and Dee. For one, they’re twins, and Dennis takes immense pleasure in insuring Mac knows he’s the eldest. He finds out they’re both in college and take classes at UPenn. He finds out that Dennis is bi and Dee is a lesbian and that the painted flags on their cheeks represent that. They tell him there's a ton of different flags with different meaning for different identities.

He finds out alot about them, but he doesn’t talk about himself. He’s too scared that if he opens his mouth his breath will stop working again. So he just keeps drinking and laughing at the siblings jokes and joining in with his own.

 

“This your first pride then?” Dennis asks as their walking through a crowd to get to a quiet place for some air.

“That obvious huh?”

“The first times always the hardest,” Dee says as they sit down on a grass patch, Dennis flops down on his back.

Dennis barks out a laugh, “Yeah, you should have seen Dee when I took her to her first parade. She was gagging the whole time. She has this thing - she like, she gets super nervous around hot chicks and just, like, fucking dry heaves.”

“Okay, asshole, thanks,” She turns to face Mac, “I was 14 by the way, I can control it now.”

“That young? You’ve - you’ve known for that long?” Mac can’t help to sound a bit shocked. He had barely any idea what being gay meant at 14. Just that it was wrong and bad and kissing boys was wrong and bad. He’s 21 and only really just got it sorted out in his head, he can’t even imagine understanding stuff like that at 14.

Dee just shrugs, “Yep.” She says popping the ‘p’.

“What about you, Mac?” Dennis asks and like, fuck. He feels the hot pressure at the back of his neck again. His chest doesn’t hurt but he can feel his breathing change.

But this is what today was meant for. Maybe it’s the fact he’s at pride or maybe its just Dennis and Dee. Whatever it is, he feels comfortable. He can do this. He can say it. This is probably the best place _to_ say it.

“I - uh,” He starts, and rubs his sweaty palms on his jeans. “I guess I’ve known for a couple years. But, uh, I only really admitted it to myself a few weeks ago. Took me a while to come to terms with it but-” He stops.

He breaths.

“-But, I’m gay.” He says simply and his chest doesn’t ache.

 

“Why do I _have_ _to_ _do_ _this_?” He questions, mocking Dennis.

“ _Because,_ it’s a - it’s a group staple, okay? Me and Dee have it and you’re hanging around us, so you _have_ to match.”

It’s all such bullshit and Mac can tell Dennis just pulled that excuse out of his ass, but he doesn’t care. Dennis helped him through a panic attack and looked at Mac like he was fucking _proud_ when he said he was gay and is very pretty and keeps smiling at him - so Mac will pretty much do whatever for him now.

Dennis and Dee guide him to a face painting tent (Dennis’ hands don’t leave his shoulders) and then Dee is talking to one of the girls there in a friendly way and Mac is being shoved in a chair.

“What flag?” The girl asks him and Mac falters.

“What about a twink flag?” Dee says, snorting.

“The fuck’s that?” He turns to Dennis so fast it gives him whiplash, “Dennis, what’s a twink?”

Dennis sighs and pats his shoulder, “Mac, you poor baby. You got a lot to learn, buddy.” And then he tells the girl what flags to give him.

He leaves the tent with matching rainbows painted high on his cheeks and a newly found confidence. Dennis pulls out his phone and snaps a picture of the three of them. Mac hates that Dennis still looks so good while flashing a dumb peace sign at the camera. He asks Mac for his number and sends it to him - which Mac thinks is a pretty smooth way to swap digits.

 

 

Hours after the sun has set, Dennis tells Dee and Mac he knows about an after party event some club is having, and drags them to a small, kinda dingy place. But the music is loud and it’s full of people and there’s _hard liquor_ , so Mac doesn’t mind.

They score a booth and after a few rounds of tequila slammers Dennis is getting way more flirty with Mac. His thigh presses along the entire length of Mac’s and he smiles at him more and stares at him hard, and bites his lip while saying all sorts of compliments in a low, gravelly voice.

Mac _definitely_ doesn’t mind.

As the night goes on Mac finds himself copying Dennis’ advances. He flirts back with him, spreading his legs a bit when Dennis’ hand lands on his thigh and wraps his own arm around Dennis’ shoulder, bringing him closer to talk against his ear. When Dennis cracks a joke, Mac laughs and buries his face in his neck - his smile brushing against Dennis’ pulse point.

Dee gets bored of them after a while, says she’s gonna go flirt and try to get laid as well if they aren’t going to stop any time soon. They don't go on the dance floor, they barely go anywhere else except the bar,  just stay at the booth they've claimed.

It’s nice there. Their own little piece of this special kind of paradise carved out just for them.

The whole atmosphere today has had an effect on Mac. Positive, definitely. The lingering guilt and worry washed away the more time he spent with Dennis and Dee and everyone around them.

People are still laughing and dancing and shouting love inside the club, and there's still so many rainbows and glitter and confetti. It’s caught in Dennis’ hair and Dee’s giant feather boa - Mac  _knows_ he’s covered in it too.

It doesn’t bother him anymore. Any of it. These things that caused him so much anxiety earlier - caused his lungs to fail and his heart to explode in his chest and pins to prick hot at his neck - now make him feel  _warm._

This is pride, he thinks, a celebration of love and acceptance right here in his home city, where he never thought he could be himself. But he’s here _right now_ and he admitted out loud that he’s gay and the world didn’t crumble around his feet. Nothing changed, except everything did.

He feels lighter, warmer, _free._ He feels like himself for the first time in years. For the first time since he knew he was different. 

He’s so ridiculously giddy and carefree, that when Dennis trails his fingers through the glitter on Mac’s neck and leans in closer - Mac doesn’t jolt out of his grip.

He kisses a boy for the first goddamn time in his life and he feels himself float away.

 

**Author's Note:**

> this was originally longer and had a more smutty ending but .... ending it here was cute okay and i liked it  
> mayhaps ill still post the other part as a diff chapter idk lmk


End file.
